13 Reasons Why

So I am sure everyone has heard or seen this show on Netflix by now. I mean c’mon, it has been all over social media and is at the top of the list whenever you go into your Netflix account. I wanted to write about this show because I wanted to share my experience about it and my perspective about the show. The only reason why I started to watch the show was because it had been deemed as a controversial show and said to have been promoting suicide. I read one article that said the show was glamorizing suicide. I personally beg to differ with that article but after watching the show, I did have a better understanding of why people would say it was a show that was saying suicide was “ok”.

It was a little difficult to watch this show because it is something that I have personally dealt with myself. The show goes through the life of Hannah as she starts her Sophomore high school year at a new school. It talks about the different ways that she was bullied and how different students did different things throughout two years that eventually led to a feeling of no control, no emotion, void and emptiness inside of Hannah. I do not want to share all the details of the show in case some of you have not watched the show but I will share the part where I can see why some may say that the show may promote suicide. Even though I do not believe the entire show is promoting suicide whatsoever, I do feel that the lines used during Hannah and Mr. Porter’s conversation would be the part where the show changed my perspective. This was Hannah’s last chance for hope as she looked for a reason to live after everything that had happened to her. She went to visit her counselor in search for hope or possibly just to have someone to talk to. Mr. Porter was supposed to be Hannah’s last chance to stay alive. The show has the two of them talk and almost reach the point where Hannah confesses the last act that caused her to loose her soul. This of course does not happen because Hannah does not open that conversation and Mr. Porter does not posses the skills needed to get the answers. Hannah has just been raped and is trying to find a way to tell Mr. Porter but cannot seem to put the words together and is too afraid to even speak them aloud. Mr. Porter senses that something really bad has happened to Hannah but eventually tells her that if she is not willing to talk about it, press charges or let him help her, her only choice will be to move on. THIS IS THE WORST LINE OF THE ENTIRE SHOW! I get that the writer had the overall goal to have Hannah die since that was the point of the whole show but I still hate the line. Hannah was not ready to talk about what had happened to her at that exact moment and because she was already walking towards the point of no return, hearing those words out of Mr. Porter’s mouth allowed her to cross that finish line.

I myself was once in a position where I too had suicidal thoughts. People who know me now may find this surprising. It is not something that I have shared with many but think that it is an important issue to talk about. As a teenager, especially ones that are not in the best home environment or even the ones who are (like Hannah was), tend to feel that the feelings that they are feeling are going to last forever. I remember sitting at the dining room table, in a dark room, in a dark place in my life debating on whether to do it or not. I can’t remember exactly how old I was at the time but I must have been around 14 or 15 years old because I was in high school. I had been a victim of sexual abuse since the age of 5 and was tired of my life at that point. My entire life  was a big secret and I did not really care what happened or what did not happen. I was just living an empty and very pathetic life. I had no say or control of my life and suicide felt like the only thing that I could control. I can sympathize with people who are going through thoughts of suicide because it feels like at that moment, the only thing that is right is to make it all go away. When Hannah got raped, that was the last straw for her and she says that it was like her soul had been taken away. It is hard for people who have never had suicide thoughts to understand where people who have suicide thoughts are coming from. Many people would call those individuals weak and cowards for ending their lives but one should never judge someone or their actions until they have been in their shoes. I like Hannah, never gave the impression that something was going on inside of me because, I don’t know… I just never did. I was always hiding my emotions and like Hannah ignored the bad moments in life and tried to find the good ones that made me smile. Unfortunately, Hannah was not as lucky as I was to have survived that suicidal moment in life but hope that if people watch the show, they will speak to someone.

There are so many people and even online resources that people can talk to now a days. The internet has become a way to find easy ways to communicate with others. 13 Reasons Why is not glamorizing suicide but rather showing how people can influence someone without even knowing it. Kids in school are mean and that is the honest truth. Not all of them of course but most of the time, kids are influenced by each other and it only takes one person to stand up for someone else who is being bullied for things to change. I have added some links for anyone who may be thinking that suicide is the only way to end their pain. I know from experience that it gets better. It takes a lot of work to get better and there will probably be more bad days ahead than good but when the good days finally get there, it will feel like the bad days never existed. Sometimes I can barely even remember the bad days I had as a young child. I have a little thing that I am doing called my count down. I lived in misery and abuse for the first sixteen years of my life. I have been out of my childhood home for 13 years now. I have 4 more years to go to be able to say that I have lived more happy years in life than bad ones. I don’t know what I will do when that time comes but I do know that if I would have ended my life when I was that empty teenager, I would not have the pleasure to find out.

Sinceramente Jane

 

Suicide Prevention Lifeline

American Foundation for Suicide Prevention

Suicide Prevention Resource Center

 

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Stepping into your dream dress

Well this past weekend I went wedding shopping and it was an experience that I will forever cherish. The day started off with a little rough start. Living here in New York, if your not running late to an appointment… well that would almost be a miracle in itself. Arriving at our first bridal shop I was a little disappointed. Their website clearly stated no appointments were necessary but when we arrived ( 30 minutes after they opened the doors) there was a 2 hour wait to see a consultant. I understand that if this is how they run their business, this should be stated on their website. That way when people like me who have never had a bridal shop experience show up and then are told to wait don’t get bummed out. Well as most brides, I had other confirmed appointments set up for the day so with much sadness we had to leave before even getting to try on any dresses. The next store we went to was a little better. We were a bit early to this location and they were able to help us promptly. The first question they ask you is “When is the wedding and what style do you like.” Of course I had no clue what I really liked until I began to trying them on. Our consultant was a very nice lady but honestly she was not listening to my wants. I think that she was so on guard and trying to protect me from my entourage that she was making us all a little uncomfortable. I was able to find a decent dress at this store. I use the word decent because although it was a nice dress and it had components of which I was looking for, it was clear that my search was not done. I do want to be clear that when I decided to go on this first wedding gown search, I was not planning on finding my dress. The point of this day was to find the style that best suited my figure, check out prices of dresses that I did like and just get to spend time with the ladies that I had invited.

After the second appointment we have one final bridal shop to visit before we break for lunch. We arrive at the third location which is basically a little hole in the wall boutique. From the outside you would never imagine the treasure that is located inside. The walls are blue Tiffany colored walls with cream colored sofa couches located in each end. At the end of one wall near the dressing rooms is a vintage look vanity holding veils, headbands and sparkly accessories. The selection of dresses is no where nearly as much as the last two stores we had just come from. I kind of started to get nervous because I feel like I have stepped into a store that may be over my budget. The quality of these dresses are basically screaming from the hangers they hang on. When we get there, there is only one other bride in the store and two consultants, the owner and the assistant. They greet us quickly and tell us to take a seat. “Who’s the Bride?” One of them asks and everyone points to me. She sits me down on the couch and she sits down “Indian style” on the floor directly in front of me asking me stuff about my wedding, my budget, what I like and what I don’t like. About 10 minutes being at this boutique the owner says she has something that I just may be looking for and directs me to the dressing room. I look at the dress she is bringing over on the hanger and it’s almost like I begin to blush. Inside the dressing room she is explaining how she will dress me and asks which dress I’d like to start with. I immediately point at the dress that made me blush. We wiggle my big hips and butt into the dress and to my surprise, the dress fits perfectly with some minor adjustments. This is a major relief because all the dresses would slide perfectly from my head down until it reached my hip area. From the moment she finished zipping my back I can feel the difference of this dress versus all the other dresses that have been on me earlier in the day. We walk out to the main area and everyone is literally in awe at this dress. I stand on the little platform in the middle of the room and can’t stop starring at this dress. Someone, I can’t remember who, brings over a veil and a small jewel incrusted headband and puts it on me. At that moment, tears begin to roll down my cheeks and I have my moment of realization. Shit I’m getting married and this is really happening! Everyone in my entourage is teary eyed, even the owner and the assistant. I never imagined that on the first day of wedding gown shopping I would find this dress that I had dreamed about since I was a little girl. (There was that slight stage in my life in which I didn’t want to get married, but that was quickly dismissed when I fell deeper in love with my fiancé) So what I would recommend anyone shopping for their wedding dress is to not settle for the dress that you like. Stepping into your dream dress is going to be a moment and feeling like you’ve never felt before. The next few pictures are a few of the dresses that didn’t make the cut. RIP dresses lol

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Sinceramente Jane

I’m back!

Oh my gosh! I feel like I have been gone forever. Every day I think to myself, how I need to post something on my blog and something comes up. Let me tell you guys what I have been up to this month.

First of all, does anyone else feel like the month of March has lasted too long? I feel as if we have been in this month for too long. So this past weekend, I realized that I had not signed up for the deadline of financial aid through my university. I unfortunately will not be able to start my new class until April 19!!

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BUMMER… NO SCHOOL FOR ALMOST AN ENTIRE MONTH!!

So anyways, I figured this would be a perfect time where I can focus and write a little more on my blog. I am literally running out of things to do when I get home because I have not had this much free time in about 2 years!

This month, I decided to sign up for Birchbox. I finally got the box today and was like….

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I mean, the sample sizes were EXTREMELY small. I guess I am more used to the Ipsy sample size but I will keep the monthly membership for a little while longer. If I am still not satisfied with the products, I will just cancel it. I have also been doing a lot of shopping because of my spring break trip to… drum roll please*

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DOMINICAN REPUBLIC

I am super excited and can’t wait to take tons of out of the day pictures when I am out there.  So if anyone is interested in following me on a day to day basis around New York, follow me on Snap Chat at JANEKNEE

Talk to you guys soon!!

Sinceramente Jane

International Women’s Day

How was everyone’s day today. I heard it was international women’s day today and thought it would be a great topic to blog about today. I have not really had time to write any blogs lately with recent projects at school and working a full time job. It can become a little overwhelming at times, especially since I am also a mother to a 9 year old and also have a boyfriend. With all that said and done, honestly do not think I would have it any other way. I think it is great that we have a day to officially celebrate all the women around the world. It was a day that was created to promote the achievements of women from  all around the world. I want to talk about something in specific in this post that was recently in the media. I am sure we are all aware of who Kim Kardashian is and what she is most known for. Recently there has been an uproar with a nude selfie that was posted on her social media websites. Now although this particular selfie was not completely nude since she blocked certain parts of her body with black strips, I found the image to be quite absurd. I don’t usually care what celebrities post because I believe to each their own. I do understand that Kim Kardashian has built a brand, an image and her source of income is this beauty and body that she has portrayed to her fans as positive body image. What bothers me so much when I see celebrities doing this is when I see articles written about this behavior being represented as positive body image. I personally do not think that flaunting your body by showing every single angle and body part is promoting positive behaviors for women to think positively about their bodies. What ever happened to having respect for yourself as a woman? What ever happened for having some form of dignity towards yourself as a woman? I am not a very religious person and tend to view myself as a very liberal woman but when I see women doing this for business purposes (because at the end of the day lets all be very clear, Kim Kardashian has made her money by selling her body image) and then promoting it as building positive body image it just disappoints me really. I hope to have a daughter one day and cannot imagine how I would explain to her if she were to have read the article I read today stating that posting a nude image of yourself to the world promotes positive body image. I think that there are plenty of women in this world today that have done great for women advancement and have paved the path for many future women generations to come. So that was my rant for today. I hope all you ladies had a great day today and again Happy:

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Sinceramente Jane

PS: Spanish word of the day: Mujer= Woman

Because every man has a woman in their life

Latinas at the Oscars

So for the past few months, I am sure we all heard of the lack of diversity at the Oscars not only this year but just in general. I am not one who likes to focus on the negative but am also a realistic person so with that said, lets talk some fashion. I want to take a little look at the history of the Latinos that have been able to represent our culture at the Oscars, but most importantly, WHAT THEY WORE!! In this post, I will post about the woman (no discrimination gentleman) it’s just that I prefer to look at fancy dresses instead of black suits.  Lets get right into it:

 

ACTRESS SALMA HAYEK ARRIVES AT 75TH ANNUAL ACADEMY AWARDS.

In 2003, Mexican actress Salma Hayek wore a Carolina Herrera gown for her leading role nomination in “Frida”. Salma to me is the prime example of the beauty of Mexican women and it clearly represents that in her elegance and classiness of a dress. Not only did Salma represent for Mexicans everywhere but she also brought along the Venezuelan- American fashion designer to the red carpet.

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Rita Moreno shown above is a Puerto Rican actress wearing a dress designed by Filipino Fashion designer Jose “Pitoy” Moreno. In 1961, Rita won her nomination of best supporting actress in her role in “West Side Story”.

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Penelope Cruz, a Spaniard actress got her Oscar in 2007 for her best supporting actress role in “Vicky Cristina Barcelona”. Here she is wearing an amazing colored and perfectly gown for the occasion gown designed by Atelier Versace.

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Catalina Sandino Moreno is a Colombian actress nominated in 2004 for her Best Actress role in “Maria Full of Grace”. She is wearing Roberto Cavalli for her 2004 Oscar nomination.

So there are a couple of other ladies to mention Adriana Barraza, Katy Jurado, Norma Aleandro, Berenice Bejo, Pilar Revuelta and Beatrice De Alba who have all been nominated in the past. The ladies above were my top dress picks for past red carpet moments. I can’t wait to see what the red carpet brings in 2016.

Sinceramente Jane

P.S. Spanish word of the day: Vestido= Dress

All of these dresses above are beautiful in their own way.

No, you can’t have my number… Pt 1

How many of you ladies have ever had to decline giving out your number to a guy when you are out. A friend and I were actually having this discussion just yesterday and came to the conclusion that there is just no nice way to turn someone down. So I interviewed a few people from all walks of life… hahahaha just kidding. I simply asked some friends and some family members to tell me how they turn down a guy. Either way, I feel as though if we give out our number, we are misleading the guy. If we do not give out our number, we are being complete snobs. So here is what everyday women have to say when a guy throws you the… “Can I get your number?”

ALL THE SINGLE LADIES

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To the nice ladies that just can’t say NO: ” YEAH! If you want be friends!” If you say this, be aware that you may actually not be so nice and sound like a complete SNOB for being so upfront! Don’t expect a friendship to blossom out of that response LOL

For all you BLUNT ladies: “NO!” Now if you are willing to be completely blunt about this, then you may just be leading to further conversation. He may just ask why and be ready to answer. You could say something like “Because your not my type”

To the woman who just can’t say no and can’t say yes, the Liar: ” I have a boyfriend” “Here is my number” (then never respond, so basically you led the poor guy!) Don’t be shy if you run into him on another social outing! HAHAHAHAHA

 RECENTLY ENGAGED WOMAN

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 To the smart mouth: “What’s my name? 9 times out of 10 they don’t remember so then I say: Sorry, maybe next time I run into you, you will remember my name”This woman is not here to play games and needs you to realize that from the beginning.

To the subtle woman yet not so subtle: ” I tuck my hair behind my ear with my left hand and say Sorry, I’m married” By you doing this, you do not want to rub it in their face that you are a taken woman already and hope that they get the hint by flashing your perfect diamond

To the sweet one: “Oh I’m sorry, Im engaged!” If you say this then you may even feel bad for saying this because something like this may come out of their mouth: “… oh”

Married and Lovin it

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The runaway woman: “I do not talk to or make eye contact with guys that I get “that” vibe from (we all know that vibe ladies). If I get that vibe, I avoid them and walk another direction. The man never gets the chance to ask me because I pick up the flirt vibe quickly”

  • By the way I just want to give a quick shout out to my friend Ciji for giving me her input. Please check out her online store and support on handmade handbags at CijiLoren

Straight to the point woman: ” I just look at them and show them my ring and say WRONG GIRL.. My husband is right there”

The show off woman: “I just show them my ring and give them a huge smile!” Expect a huge smile back. 

Now let me tell you what type of girl I am. The woman in a serious relationship. I remember once I kind of got tired of being asked out at work. So one day while I was shopping I bought myself a fake ring. I find that more often than not, a man will slowly back away from a woman who wears a ring. So that makes me a liar! Hahahahaha these days I don’t wear one anymore because I’m expecting the real thing. So guys, I hope you enjoyed this fun post. It was fun to get responses from my family members and friends. I thank them for their support and their willingness to give me a little of their time. Have a great week and I will talk to you guys soon! 

Sinceramente Jane

P.S. Spanish word of the day: Mujeres =Women …. I mean c’mon…. women are like the bomb! 

 

Gifts for her this Valentine’s Day

With Valentine’s Day being less than a week away now, lets get straight to the point. So I am giving you gentlemen a few ideas on what to get your special lady on that special day. I know that people say that Valentine’s Day should be every day and not only one day of the year and I agree but I still think that it is nice to get something on this day of the year. People do not have to go all out and spend all this money since companies do tend to increase their prices this day. There are actually a lot of nice finds out there, and a lot of them can be ordered online and shipped directly to your home. So down below, I will share my favorite items that I think are reasonably priced and are nice ideas to gift a lady.

 

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Solitaire Swarovski Necklace $42  

 

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Swarovski Zirconia Tennis Bracelet $64
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Swarovski Zirconia Stud Earrings $37  

So who wouldn’t like to receive some nice jewelry? These items here are simple, elegant and classics items that everyone women should have in their collection. I found that SWAROVSKI is a great collection with pieces that can be very affordable.

The next item that I will share can be a little tricky. Every woman has their own sense of style and guys, you really should ask the bestie’s opinion on this but I will give you some ideas for a nice bag to gift. These are the top three bags that I was able to find both affordable and easy to style bags:

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London Fog Heather Satchel Bag $90
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Rebecca Minkoff Mini Crosby Bag $121
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Fossil Sydney Tote Bag $168   

The last item I want to share with you guys is something that I literally die for every time I pass by a window here in New York. SHOES. I love them and they do not always have to have a heel. Find out what your lady likes and if she prefers sneakers, then a nice pair of sneakers is very easy to find. If she prefers heels, just look for her shoe size and I will let you in on some go to shoes that every woman should have in her closet.

For the sneaker head, if she doesn’t own this shoe already do her a favor and add it:

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Nike Rosherun Shoe $109  

For the heel lover, get her a nice statement heel like the one from Aldo:

Aldo Women’s Uneasien Dress Sandal $37

The last pair are just some comfortable, need to get the job done type of shoes. I love TOMS!

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TOMS Women’s Canvas Slip-On $Price may vary

Finally, if all else fails and you just didn’t have time to make it or purchase your gift, avoid walking in empty handed. No woman wants to hear you say that you do not have anything or you forgot. I know here in NYC there are tons of flower shops as you walk to your subway or head out to your nearest bodega. Feel free to purchase a nice card and some of her favorite flowers. These are my favorite:

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15 Sweetheart Tulips $24.99 + SH  

I hope this was helpful and were able to get some ideas. Thank you for stopping by today and enjoy your day with your special lady.

Sinceramente Jane

P. S. Spanish word of the day: Belleza= Beauty. We are all beautiful inside and should share it with the world